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You Think It’s Not Okay to Be Who You Are
Sometimes when people die you think to yourself if it is in bad taste to write about them. I haven’t even felt fully comfortable talking about it with my friends. But given the title and ethos of this article, I will.
A childhood friend of mine passed away several days ago. It was self-inflicted.
Some people were shocked by the news but there was an unspoken understanding we had. I suppose it is why we got along, despite the fact that we didn’t maintain the bond.
I don’t think he was satisfied with himself or with his life. I totally understood this because I too had this issue. I wasn’t too surprised when he and I both showed up for psychology undergrad courses. We knew we needed answers.
Around the second year of undergrad I started to have suicidal ideation because I bought into the thought that I would never accomplish what I wanted in life. I believed that who I was would never be enough to achieve my goals.
Because that thought had some truth to it, I started to self-isolate. I skipped classes. I was living in fear but no one seemed to sense it. But it was a half-truth. I didn’t have the skills to succeed… yet. With experience came growth and the skillset for life (which is ever-expanding).
