Wanting What You Cannot Have is Self-Abuse
Could you imagine a more exquisite type of torture? Can you think of a more pointless existence? Is there anything quite as asinine as wanting what you cannot have? Probably not, but I should probably explain what this phenomenon means.
Wanting what you cannot have is about being incompatible with a desire. It’s not a matter of working hard enough to get it. It’s not a deficiency in worth on one’s part. Rather, it is a mismatch of two elements.
You can try to combine a hydrogen atom and a helium atom just as you can try to make an actuary into an actor. It won’t work. Based on the structure of these things they cannot go together.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “How can you say that an actuary can’t be an actor?! People are diverse and multi-faceted so you should never try to limit someone’s potential.”
I totally agree. But that’s where failing to know oneself comes into play and that is the primary reason people want what they cannot have.
If the acting actuary knows herself she would never listen to the voices that try to pigeonhole her. More limited minds would tell her to choose one or the other, and they may coerce her into being an actuary because it’s more “realistic.”
If she listens to these people who probably care about her and just want the best for her, she will end up resentful because she feels incomplete. Her supposed goal of climbing the corporate ladder was not what she really wanted. She wanted what she could not have because what she could have had was being an actuary in the week but an actor in community plays on the weekend.
Of course, that’s just one example. There are different ways she could spin the balance between the two but the point is that she needed to know and honor herself before she could have achieved her dreams. But let’s look at this another way.
Let’s say that she is an actuary and an actor but she only wanted to be an actor because the media portrays actors as celebrities who get a lot of money and a lot of love from strangers. As a result, she buys into the idea of being an actress but struggles to motivate herself to audition or even to practice.
