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6 Unconscious Biases I’ve Had as a Demisexual

Jason Henry
6 min readFeb 23, 2022

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Photo by Adrian Dascal on Unsplash

I’ve never fully committed to the term until recently, but for those who don’t know, being demisexual means that one does not feel sexual attraction for another until an emotional connection first exists.

The main reason I never fully committed to the term was because I could still find someone sexually attractive; I just didn’t want to sleep with them until I got to know them and felt something deeper. I remember explaining this in high school only to be met with blank looks. Sorry, but to me there’s a difference between finding someone attractive and being attracted.

As it turns out, this is normal for many demisexuals. However, I wondered what other biases I had as an unconscious demisexual.

Turns out it was quite a few.

1. I thought everyone wanted connection first

Have you seen those (for a lack of a better word) inspirational social media posts that say something like, “it’s easy to get naked and have sex, but it’s hard to expose your naked heart”? I never understood those posts.

For me, it was the reverse. If you ask me a question, I’ll honestly answer you. Why? Because I need the connection in order to feel motivated to do anything else. Sex was scarier because I had to gauge whether or not the…

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Jason Henry
Jason Henry

Written by Jason Henry

Counselling Psychologist | Current Writer | Constant Learner | “By your stumbling the world is perfected.”

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