Too Many People Miss the Point of a Romantic Relationship

Jason Henry
3 min readMay 19, 2022
Photo by Anastase Maragos on Unsplash

Because romance is so driven by sex, psychology and neurological processes, people fail to see the light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to loving someone.

When you get right down to it, that’s essentially the work of a lifetime. Not only do we strive to love our romantic partner, we also try to do this for our family, friends and ourselves. If we have enough to do it for strangers, we get called a saint.

We can tell that love is the key here. However, when a couple eventually runs into problems that they have to work on, they do it because they want to be seen as the happy, healthy and damn near perfect couple. They cannot bear going back into the dating market and so they must figure out a way to stay together.

As individuals we often want to appear as flawless as possible to others and unfortunately, we take that same attitude into our relationships.

The irony is that if people were more honest about how they feel and what they struggle with, this would foster better relationships because we could all be real and just relax because the greater irony is that most of our problems stem from how we think others will judge us.

For example, if you really have lost attraction to your partner because of weight gain, do you really think it is a loving thing to hide how you feel? Some might say yes because they want to spare their partner’s feelings. However, this really just goes back to sweeping problems under the rug and maintaining a façade of perfection.

It also goes back to the earlier point that people feel the need to stay together no matter what. But why do we do this? Why do we hide the truth? It is because of the belief that if one is honest about something, it will spell the end of the relationship and that that is a terrible thing.

But is it? And is living a lie a good thing?

Here’s the problem. Until people understand that the primary goal of a relationship is encouraging health and growth for both people involved, you cannot be a loving partner. If the key to a relationship is love, how are you going to do that by hiding the truth?

I can understand the fear of walking away from a relationship with someone you…

Jason Henry

Former Edu. Psychologist | Current Writer | Constant Learner | “By your stumbling the world is perfected.”