This is why they left

Photo by Francisco Gonzalez on Unsplash

When you weren’t listening, there was a moment of clarity. They heard a voice that had been droning on like a loving mother chopping carrots and talking to herself in the kitchen. But now they’re listening. They’re listening to the advice that is being given to them about you not listening.

People have their desires and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it. You can morally posture about why their decision made no sense and how they’re governed by fear, but what can you do? You can’t live their life and you can’t control it. And even if you could, that would make you kind of selfish. You would never want someone controlling you.

You made promises that you never kept, possibly unnecessary promises that were said only to placate something you didn’t want to deal with. But now you’ve sliced a wound into the person you made a promise to that they will deny until the day they they die because it sounds really lame to complain about not getting what you wanted these many years later.

The deception you sold them made them upset enough to leave. You weren’t brave enough to just tell the truth. They gave up on you because you gave up on them being able to understand. You never gave them a chance.

They left, but it had nothing to do with you. That fact may not take away the pain but it is a fact.

When trust dies, there is no point in sticking around. I’ve read that the best way to trust someone is not having to trust them. That way, when they show their true colours, you’re simply accepting reality. But most of us want people to show up in ways that we want and we expect and that they said they would.

They wanted to make you happy. They could see that being around you had a negative effect on your life. It hurt them to go but they sacrificed their relationship for you. This could be for good reasons or because they have a poor self-image.

They wanted to see you suffer. They sacrificed the relationship because they never cared and they knew that by leaving, you would feel lost. Anyone that does this is not worth crying over, but one can understand why you would. Please do not be ashamed about that. If you cry, you’ll release the emotion.

They wanted to protect you. While you loved their presence in your life, they knew that ultimately, they could not give you what you were asking for. Or, they knew that they would eventually cause problems. They knew themselves or the situation well enough to leave and cause you pain, so as to prevent a larger pain later.

People grow apart. It’s a natural part of life. It would do you good to not hang onto things that are coming to their timely end. Sometimes things do not remain compatible. That is okay.

They left because who wants to hear the same song or watch the same movie play out forever? Things are meaningful because they end.




Former Edu. Psychologist | Current Writer | Constant Learner | “By your stumbling the world is perfected.”

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Jason Henry

Jason Henry

Former Edu. Psychologist | Current Writer | Constant Learner | “By your stumbling the world is perfected.”

More from Medium

Why We Want Unavailable People

Hurting People Can’t Hear You

Dear Lover, Do You Choose This or Not? I Need to Know

If You Keep Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Partners, Read This