The Tricky Territory of Blindly Supporting Your Partner

Even if they might be wrong

Photo by The HK Photo Company on Unsplash

I saw an acquaintance the other day and congratulated him on his recent engagement. He bestowed on me a nugget of wisdom that has stuck with me for the last month:

“Tell the truth, even if it’s going to hurt the other person.”

It’s one of those things that you definitely agree with and endorse, but it’s easier said than done.

People want reassurance in their most intimate relationships. They want their opinions and experiences to be supported and validated.

But how are you going to do that when you only get one side of the story and there’s the possibility that your partner might have done something to contribute to their dilemma? After all, who knows them better than you?

Psychologists at the University of Maryland studied the effects of partners validating the negative emotions caused by someone else and found that the more caring and empathetic the confidant, the more likely they were to validate the negative emotions of the discloser.

This support led to more than half (56%) of the confidants who received this type of support avoiding the person they had the conflict with. Other the other hand, nineteen percent of confidants who did not receive this…