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The Three Things I Look for in a Relationship
It is not the beauty of a building you should look at; it’s the construction of the foundation that will stand the test of time. — David Allen Coe
I’ve had a decent amount of relationships in my young life and if there is anything that I can hang my hat on, it is that a relationship is always as strong as its weakest pillar. As I’ve gotten older, not only have I seen this to be true in romance, but also in friendship and in family. The three pillars are: emotional health, similarity and attraction.
Emotional Health
I’m thankful every single day that my first real relationship was with someone who was healthy. I know too many people who started off on a bad foot and it has jaded their perception of love until this day.
Sad to say that I was the liability in that relationship, but I could clearly see the contrast between my neuroticism and her calmness. If I wanted to keep the relationship, I had to get better. I had to learn to trust her and be vulnerable, and I did.
However, it wasn’t enough. Once her parents shipped her to boarding school, I was having crazy withdrawal symptoms. I was being fed love (read: infatuation) and I needed the drug. My attention waned and although I didn’t physically cheat, my emotions were betraying me. I had to end it before I…
