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The Reason People Change in a Relationship

Jason Henry
6 min readMar 7, 2022

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Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

When I was first introduced to the notion that you can get with someone, marry them and then start to see them change into a completely different person, that was probably when I began associating relationships with fear.

It’s not as if we are unaware that people change throughout their lives. It is one of the reasons people grow apart and why an initial acquaintance can become an awesome friend later in life.

But when you like who someone is and you make a (lifelong) commitment to them, you did so under the premise that they were going to relatively be the same, or at least treat you the same. After all, if you’re good and I’m good, why would either of us upset what we have together?

One reason that is often suggested is that people pretend to be what their significant other wants them to be just to get into a relationship with them. To be honest, I have to agree. It seems scummy, but people do it. But why?

It’s because humans need connection. They will pretty much do whatever it takes to get it — even if it means taking an action that undermines honesty and trust.

However, as scummy as this is, the vast majority of people are guilty of this. You might even be guilty of this. Why would I say this when I don’t even know you? Because when you consider when and why humans…

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Jason Henry
Jason Henry

Written by Jason Henry

Counselling Psychologist | Current Writer | Constant Learner | “By your stumbling the world is perfected.”

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