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The Fear of Anger Can Ruin Your Life
There are two seminal moments in every person’s life that have the power of placing them on a completely different path. The first moment involves the first time you come face to face with anger and the second is the moment someone tries to shame you for being angry.
The first time my mother’s dark side attack me had left me scarred for many years. I never wanted to experience it ever again, but unfortunately I would and it always reopened that first wound of the first time she unleashed her anger.
While I hated fighting, I would sometimes find myself in fights as a child. To then be reprimanded by my parents and teachers for what I felt were injustices against me was a message that it was not okay to fight but it was also not okay to be angry.
People liked me when I was calm and friendly; people were scared when they saw my own dark side. And so, because I don’t want to be ostracized and I want friends, I tried my best to hide my resentment.
I liked my mom best when she was nice to me, and so I tried my best to ensure that she stayed calm.
As a child, this attitude towards anger served me. It wasn’t always perfect and it didn’t always work, but it worked more often than not. That was good enough for me.
