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The Core Wound of Each Attachment Style

Jason Henry
5 min readSep 14, 2020

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When we are children, our parents and caregivers nurture us in ways that shape how we love and form bonds for the rest of our lives.

If we were fortunate enough to enjoy a secure attachment, that meant that our parents/caregivers consistently attended to our needs with the right level of sensitivity.

We then grew up to be confident that our needs would be met but if they weren’t, no sweat. We just keep it moving.

But if we weren’t so fortunate, we instead had to suffer an insecure attachment. There are three types of insecure attachment styles, each with their own core wound.

Anxious Attachment

Core Wound: Love is inconsistent

If you are anxious-attached, your primary caregiver appropriately attended to your needs occasionally. You couldn’t depend on them to be there for you all the time.

As a result, you became an adult that was always on edge and wondering if things would work out in relationships because who the hell knows if it really is going to work out? This is what you literally think to yourself.

You become very invested in your relationships because you are trying to finally solve that subconscious wound of abandonment from infancy.

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Jason Henry
Jason Henry

Written by Jason Henry

Counselling Psychologist | Current Writer | Constant Learner | “By your stumbling the world is perfected.”

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