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Sex and Love are Not the Same Thing
I’ve been a horn-ball for as long as I can remember and thankfully, I’ve always had a little voice telling me, “love and sex are not the same thing.”
I think I always knew that, but it was easy for me to conflate the two.
In my mid to late twenties, I damn near forgot all about that warning. I’d spent my teenage years learning what I really wanted in a relationship and going in search for that. Unfortunately, I’d get side-swiped by all the “sex-positivity”. In reality, it was sexual irresponsibility, and I fell for it.
If I described what I wanted some would call it a friends with benefits situation. If you remove the negative connotation, yes, that’s pretty much ideal for me — to get along with someone, to share values and interests, and to have a sexual pillar in the relationship dynamic.
Sometimes I’ll meet someone who I find attractive but I’m largely indifferent towards them, until I get to know them. There will be some common ground and if we get to talking about that, then okay. I usually don’t try to make it happen. But once the emotions reach a particular level, then I’ll say something.
Other times, I’m just not into the person. But again, once some common ground is found, over time something may blossom.
