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Nice Guys (and Girls) are Just Codependent People
Just about everything a Nice Guy does is consciously or unconsciously calculated to gain someone’s approval or to avoid disapproval. — Dr. Robert Glover
When you research or merely ask people what a “nice guy” is you’ll get a couple of different opinions, but most of them are pejorative and critical.
Here are the common ways nice guys are defined:
- A guy who does nice things and expects sexual favors in return
- A pushover
- A guy who thinks that if he does nice things then people will like him
- A manipulator who cannot ask for what he wants
- A guy who believes that he cannot get his needs met if he is authentic
Some of the five examples seem closely related, some seem a bit more remote. But what do they all have in common? The guy isn’t who he seems to be.
Even in the example of a nice guy being a pushover, you’d have to question why someone would allow other people to walk all over them.
It’s because they believe there is something in it for them. But if they knew that what they were trying to get will never come, that’s when…
