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My Biggest Blind Spot in Love
What makes a topic like this particularly awkward is that my biggest blind spot is the very thing I criticized almost all my former flames of doing.
It’s difficult to talk about because I hate this particular thing so much — to the point that I’ve been running off my mouth about how people like this are the absolute worst. But the more I investigated, the more I realized that I was guilty of it too.
I’m selfish.
At some point in life, I replaced the desire to be with high-caliber people with the desire to be with people who I had more in common with. This surprisingly led to deeper connections but unsurprisingly to higher volatility. On the one hand, there was a lot of interests to bond over. On the other hand, the selfishness or self-centeredness was even more obvious.
I wanted to be with people I had more in common with because I needed to make sure that whatever I liked, they liked. Whatever they valued, I valued. That way, I would get my needs met with no fuss and it was less likely that I’d be broken up with.
Be careful what you wish for. You might just get it. And then when you don’t want it anymore, life keeps shoveling it down your throat.
With my most recent ex, I realized that she and I both had abandonment problems. Hers manifested in temperamental…
