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Love Can Make You Fall Out of Love
I know this sounds weird but let me explain.
What does it mean to love someone? I think it boils down to two components.
1. It means to make the decision to accept someone as they are. It doesn’t mean you agree with them about everything or endorse everything that they do, but you acknowledge who they are as a person. They are seen.
2. It means to bring someone close to you. Fear, the opposite of love, is to push someone away; to deny or reject them. Therefore, love is to bring someone close to you but not close to the point that they are a part of you.
The notion that love is someone being a part of you is dangerous because if that person dies or betrays you, it will feel like a part of you died or betrayed yourself. We see this all the time and have probably experienced this ourselves.
We can even suffer in this way when it comes to activities we love. When a gardener falls ill and cannot tend to her garden, the thing she loves, her health can rapidly deteriorate.
So how does love link to falling out of it?
When we meet someone, they are showing their best selves. So are you. The initial meetups may be good enough for you both to decide to get into a relationship.
