Member-only story
How To Turn Anger into Growth
“A man’s hatred is always concentrated upon that which makes him conscious of his bad qualities.” — C.G. Jung
I remember being in my early twenties and one of my exes would always question why I didn’t go for my driver’s license. At the time I wasn’t keen on being so vulnerable about what I thought was a stupid flaw about myself.
I didn’t go for it because I had a driving phobia. My ex must’ve really been scratching her head wondering what was up with me, but it was something I didn’t even want to admit to myself. But my subconscious wouldn’t let it go.
For about three years, I would have nightmares about the car moving and steering itself. If I slammed on the brakes, it still moved. If I pulled up the handbrake, it still moved. If I tried to steer it, the wheel went stiff.
These dreams were trying to communicate to me, and I’ll explain what that was in a bit. But all I felt was immense shame. Driving is often thought to be a rite of passage for a man. I rejected the notion. In truth, it is a dumb thing to think. But my resentment of it was due to my insecurity.
Eventually, I did some emotional processing on it. I embraced my shame and fear and eventually, I got my license. I drive perfectly fine, never been in an accident and I actually enjoy driving.
