For the Self-Help Junkie: If You Can Get This, You Can Get Results

Photo by Ryan Franco on Unsplash

When I was asked how one begins to get results after compulsively devouring self-help books and speeches, I just shook my head and smiled because this was me last year. It can be very frustrating to read these books by people heralded as gurus and not be able to change much, if anything at all.

There came a point where my frustration caused me to just give up. I had threatened to walk away before but this was different. It was a Sunday night in Spring 2013, home alone, thinking that I wouldn’t ever achieve my dreams. I sat outside, determined to take my mind off of manifesting my dreams and the dream itself. I felt better.

About 40 mins. later, I had the idea to research why a particular self-help tip doesn’t work. I would always find evidence to support it, but never to refute it. And now that I felt taken for a ride — an almost 4-year ride — I was going to speak out against this stuff.

It lead me to the Sedona Method, which was different from other “techniques” I’d known of.

I was always told you have to believe in yourself and have faith and speak it into being and all that. But my own experiences with great things popping into my life were never due to me speaking it into being. Sedona showed me that it isn’t about putting on a belief system, but removing the blocks that prevent you from naturally getting what you desire.

It’s a good method and like others, it works for some people, but ultimately it wasn’t for me (it did help clear out some emotional baggage though!) However, there were some truths that got me to realize that I needed to trust my own experiences, try to replicate them and incorporate the truths i had learnt from this programme.

A year and a half later, this is how I manage to consciously bring experiences into my life: I allow my current experience to be what it is.

Example: I don’t have any money. What I used to do was visualize and pray and act as if I had money, in order to have money.
Now, all I do is honor and accept the reality of not having money. I’m not resisting my financial situation anymore. Visualization, acting as if and prayer only work when you accept your current reality, because what you resist, persists.

You’re experiencing groundhog’s day because you refuse to accept who you are, where you are and what you have. By the way, watch the movie Groundhog’s Day with Bill Murray. It’s a terrific illustration of how life changes when you change. And the only change you need to make is your attitude towards your circumstances.

The only thing that makes this challenging is that you may find it hard to accept your reality. What I do is I observe the sadness, the disappointment, the fear, the pressure within myself. What happens is that the negative emotion starts to dissipate. Keep at it. Do it every day until you feel at peace with it.

Just to wrap up. If your desires are to enhance your ego, you going to run into some problems with this. Cease to define yourself by your bank account, your spouse, your job, your house (all external things that pass away eventually). Because if you lose it, you will lose a part of yourself and you will feel suffering. That’s if you get it, but it’s possible that you won’t.

Again, don’t try to get rid off defining yourself by external sources. As long as that is your intention and you observe your emotions, you’ll be fine. Everything happens due to intention. That is the seed. Acceptance of what is, is the soil.

Originally published on Quora

Former Edu. Psychologist | Current Writer | Constant Learner | “By your stumbling the world is perfected.”

Former Edu. Psychologist | Current Writer | Constant Learner | “By your stumbling the world is perfected.”