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Five Differences Between Healthy versus Codependent Relationships

Jason Henry
5 min readApr 2, 2019

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Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash

Considering that there are various types of relationships in our lives, we must acknowledge that the flavour of our relationships can vary as well. We can enjoy the awesomeness of a healthy friendship, romance or kinship or we can suffer the pain of the codependent-narcissist variety.

Maybe you aren’t a textbook codependent or narcissist, or not in a relationship with a textbook version of these, but there are traits that are tied to these labels. As a result, an otherwise healthy, interdependent relationship looks and feels quite different from a codependent one. Here are five examples.

1. Feeling free to be the real you versus losing yourself to the other person

No one should enter a relationship to accommodate someone else. The point is to enjoy who each person is, exactly as they are. Unfortunately, as children who had to deal with the judgment and condemnation of our parents, we may have learnt that love and relationships are about accommodating others to the extent that we change who we are and drop our own values.

The codependent learns that if they want love, they have to sacrifice a part of themselves for it. They call this compromise, when in reality, it’s just them cutting their arm off so that…

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Jason Henry
Jason Henry

Written by Jason Henry

Counselling Psychologist | Current Writer | Constant Learner | “By your stumbling the world is perfected.”

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