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Fear is the Bedrock of all Relationship Problems
People have been talking about love and fear for a long time and in various circles, not just in the arenas of relationships and psychology. But I think we’ve strayed from this to the point that we’ve forgotten that this is the basis of all other problems.
Think about it. If you have anything other than a secure attachment style, it is because you associate fear with connection and belonging. If you are in a codependent-narcissist dynamic, it is because you are afraid you won’t get your needs met and so you have to play a role.
Why do men become pick-up artists and join the red pill community? It’s because they are afraid that they aren’t enough. Why do women do cosmetic surgery? It’s because they are afraid that they aren’t enough. Why do people go after those who they are most afraid of and avoid those they feel the safest with? It’s because they associate love and sex with fear.
The Bible says there is no fear in love and while that might be true, the fact remains that those of us who struggle in romance tend to oscillate between love and fear. Or maybe love and fear is like light and darkness. You could find yourself in brilliant sunlight, an underground dungeon or in the twilight of dawn.
So what does fear do in the context of relationships? It makes one believe that they have to…
