Member-only story
Don’t Know What You Want? This is Why.
At some point in childhood, you were probably asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. Apparently, my first answer to this was to be a policeman which gave my mom anxiety. Ultimately, I probably said it because that was the role I knew men played in society at the time. I was only three.
As I got older and I saw more options, I continued to steer myself into careers that were familiar, whether that be a minister of religion or an IT consultant.
And then when I weighed up those options and they didn’t feel like a fit for who I truly was, I began to just look at what I liked. Why not go for the things that I have genuine interest in and do spontaneously? So far, writing and psychology have been rewarding.
Philosopher Alan Watts broke down the beginning stage of not knowing what you want and the closing stage of not knowing what you want.
“In the beginning stage, you don’t know what you want because you haven’t thought about it, or you’ve only thought superficially. Then when somebody forces you to think about it and go through and say, ‘yeah, I think I’d like this, I think I’d like that, I think I’d like the other,’ that’s the middle stage.
Then you get beyond that. “Say, is that what I really want?” In the end you say, ‘No, I don’t think that’s it. I might be satisfied…
