Chasing a Woman or Man is Bad Dating Advice

Photo by Jonathan Chng on Unsplash

I’ve heard the arguments about why men shouldn’t chase women from the dating experts as well as the pickup artists. They both make good points even if their goals are somewhat different.

Unfortunately, sometimes the advice one can get is biased, gender-specific or heterocentric but I think there is a central point that fits anyone’s sex, gender or sexual orientation.

There comes a point in life where one learns that in order to get what one wants, one has to go after it. Be relentless. Never give up.

Many of our favorite romance novels and movies have the male lead doing the most to get the girl but sometimes the roles are reversed.

Regardless of who is doing the chasing, it simply reinforces the notion that if you want something, go get it. The problem I have with this is that a person is not an object. You can’t just “go get it.”

But maybe you think I’m splitting hairs and what the person is really going after is the relationship. Even so, people often have an idea of the type of relationship they want and when they don’t get it, they get upset with the object of their desire or with themselves and their inability to woo.

This isn’t like getting a coveted job or winning a tournament where there are several opportunities and avenues to…