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Anxious and Avoidant Attachment: Two Halves of the Same Coin
In attachment theory, there are two distinct types of attachment: secure attachment and insecure attachment. Those of us who are securely attached are comfortable with intimacy and conflict with significant others. Conversely, those of us who are insecurely attached have issues with intimacy and conflict.
Insecure attachment has been broken down into categories with varying labels but for the sake of simplicity, the two categories we’ll be looking at are anxious attachment and avoidant attachment.
Based on what you’ve read so far, it’s fairly obvious that anxious and avoidant attachment are the two halves of the insecure attachment coin. This is correct, and the implications of this illustrate why people have a hard time figuring out which style they fall into.
And when we experience such a problem, the help we need may be inadequate or ineffective. We get confused and might even want to throw in the towel if the psychology behind attachment theory is confusing.
Rikki Cloos, author of the book, The Anxious Hearts Guide, shared a brilliant insight into why these two attachment styles are stunningly similar and (in my opinion) why people struggle to get into securely attached relationships despite all the work they do to improve their habits and mindset.
