A Practical Application of the 80/20 Rule of Relationships

Photo by Kirill Palii on Unsplash

You’re probably familiar with this rule but for those who’ve never heard it before, the 80/20 rule of relationships states that your partner can provide up to 80% of what you want in a relationship.

The concept came from an economist Joseph Juran who noted that 80% of one’s results come from 20% of one’s effort. He called it the Pareto principle, named after an Italian economist. The principle has been noted in several disciplines and industries.

But when it comes to relationships, it can be difficult to see how this plays out. After all, it’s so easy to get carried away in one area of a relationship and neglect how other areas are struggling.

As a result, I’ve come up with an easier way of approaching this rule.

There are (effectively) five pillars of a relationship: sexual compatibility, constructive disagreement, shared values, shared interests and adoration. If one considers someone to date or marry, one can use the 80/20 rule in each of these pillars to see how compatible one is with the other person.

Allow me to expound on each pillar and point out things to watch out for. But first some ground rules.

Even though the rule is that one can only provide 80% of what one would want, it is very possible for someone to…