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I have been giving advice on relationships far longer than I realized, whether online or in real life. And while I’ve received some comments, endorsements and gifts because of my advice, sometimes I wonder if I’m a charlatan. After all, I haven’t been in a relationship since 2017.

People had to remind me that there’s a ton of people getting into relationships that are unhealthy or for the wrong reasons and that it’s easy to get into one. They’re right. …

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After reading the headline, you’re probably wondering where the hell I’m going with this. But it’s also possible that you know exactly what this is about.

People tend to place the blame at the feet of Lebron James when he joined Dwyane Wade and recruited Chris Bosh to the Miami Heat in 2010.

At the time people celebrated that players were finally asserting themselves with regards to where they wanted to play, who they wanted to play with and not being pushed and pulled by the franchises. …

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Why do two people grow to resent each other? How can the love between two people mutate into hatred? And why do we never see it coming?

Eckhart Tolle wrote, “As the egoic mode of consciousness and all the social, political and economic structures that it created enter the final stage of collapse, the relationships between men and women reflect the deep state of crisis in which humanity now finds itself.”

I’m assuming that Tolle didn’t include the relationships between same sexes because this is not a purely romantic issue, although romance certainly suffers in terms of our egos. …

The danger of the codependent

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When it comes to the codependent-narcissist relationship dynamic, the narcissist is the one who is seen as the selfish one while the codependent is the person who is too selfless and sacrificial. There is this notion that one is worse than the other, but that is a huge misconception.

The misconception is due to the fact that the term “narcissist” is in the public lexicon as something negative and completely undesirable. “Codependent” has no such sting unless you know you are one and/or you’re aware of what that means.

The codependent knows that they aren’t that different than a narcissist…

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Could you imagine a more exquisite type of torture? Can you think of a more pointless existence? Is there anything quite as asinine as wanting what you cannot have? Probably not, but I should probably explain what this phenomenon means.

Wanting what you cannot have is about being incompatible with a desire. It’s not a matter of working hard enough to get it. It’s not a deficiency in worth on one’s part. Rather, it is a mismatch of two elements.

You can try to combine a hydrogen atom and a helium atom just as you can try to make an…

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When you feel something as powerful as attraction for someone, there are perhaps only three ways to deal with it.

You either express how you feel fueled by the rapture you have for your beloved, you sit on the emotion out of fear that they don’t feel the same or that if they feel the same the relationship is doomed; or lastly, you do whatever you can to prevent anyone from finding out to the point that you become mean towards your crush.

I think we all can agree that the first choice is the healthiest option. …

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We all have things we want to do in life. Places to go, people to see and dreams to be realized. But for some of us, there is a certain dread or anxiety that comes up when you’re ready to start. For others, we suddenly lose our motivation and believe that we don’t need it or don’t care anymore.

Some of us are lucky and are able to recognize our inability to act and then just blow the doors down by just trying, failing and improving until we reach success. But sometimes it’s not so simple.

Bulldozing yourself into action…

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People are not TV shows. You can’t just “cancel” them because people disapprove of the things they do or because of the things they failed to do.

If someone does something illegal, there are punitive measures that have long been in place to deal with that. If someone does something immoral, they get exposed and deal with the consequences.

Cancel culture is something entirely different from criticism and accountability. Cancel culture is about excavating the shortcomings of someone’s past to embarrass them and to ruin their livelihood in the present.

Another way cancel culture shows itself is the intentional or…

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Many of us want to find companionship with a romantic partner that we can comfortably be with for the rest of our lives. But some of us want the finished product wrapped in a tidy bow and ready for a life of love.

Based on the people you’ve seen in your life, have you ever met a couple that when they first met they were the finished product? Probably not, right? Neither have I.

Despite how emotionally healthy two people are when they first meet, they still have to learn each other’s rhythms, idiosyncrasies, likes, dislikes, sense of humor and…

And how we can get out of our way.

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In observation of her clients, neo-Freudian psychoanalyst Karen Horney (pronounced horn-eye) noted that of all the various ways people deal with conflict they all fall into one of three categories.

We either move towards people in compliance, move against them in aggression or move away from them in withdrawal. One’s specific coping strategy more than likely started in childhood and is unconsciously replicated as one deals with issues throughout one’s life.

You may have noticed that these three strategies are similar to freeze, fight and flight. The only difference is that these coping strategies are more complicated as you would…

Jason Henry

Former Edu. Psychologist | Current Writer | Constant Learner | “By your stumbling the world is perfected.”

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