It’s been often said that men need to do better. But what may help is some clear-cut and specific goals men can work towards.
After all, just saying that men need to be better doesn’t help when the problems aren’t clearly defined.
So while some may scoff at this article only being three entries long, don’t worry about it. Three is a manageable start, while still being challenging enough to keep one on their toes.
Also, these items are comprehensive enough to show drastic change as long as the man attempting to be better takes them seriously.
There is a…
Right off the bat, I’d like to set the record straight. When it comes to each individual, there may be numerous things that are more important than sex.
For example, fidelity, integrity, financial stability, psychological health are all things that many of us would consider more important than sex. In fact, some of these things would be prerequisites to sex.
However, the two things I will be talking about are normal desires too but also, based on this context, largely toxic.
Whether these two things are sought out consciously or subconsciously, it drives more and more enmity between the sexes…
At this point, I probably written more articles about this topic than I can remember or find. At the risk of possibly and probably contradicting myself, I press on because as my relationship with myself improves, my insights improve.
Hopefully you will indulge me once more.
When one is born, one isn’t worried about whether or not one loves oneself. You just exist. Eventually, when one become self-aware or self-conscious, there is a relationship with one’s self.
It is similar to having a relationship with another person in that you are observing your inner world, which comprises of your feelings…
When it comes to dating and relationships, people mistakenly think that they can have it all. We construct a list of the traits we want in a partner like Santa Claus is going to bring us everything we asked for in a tidy, attractive package.
But what if this belief is actually naughty? Or perhaps even impossible?
Just a cursory look at this and it does raise eyebrows, doesn’t it? I don’t have one friend that checks all the boxes I would have for a friend. I don’t have a family member that fulfills that either. …
Sometimes it’s good to see and hear how other people are living and what they have to say about life. I recently listened to some red-pill leaning discourses and it caused my brain to feel very agitated. So much of the beliefs and conversations were fear-based.
Here are some examples:
If you don’t show a girl who’s boss, she’ll walk all over you.
Or maybe you could just end the relationship if she tries to hit you with power plays.
If you don’t get a submissive, compliant woman, she’ll try to control you and the relationship.
Or maybe you’re afraid…
“One man watches a river flow by. If he does not wish it to flow, to change ceaselessly in accord with its nature, he will suffer great pain.
Another man understands that nature of the river is to change constantly, regardless of his likes and dislikes, and therefore he does not suffer.
To know existence as this flow, empty of lasting pleasure, void of self, is to find that which is stable and free of suffering, to find true peace in the world.”
— Ajahn Chah
“Your problem is you are too busy holding on to your unworthiness.”
Alan Watts once had a talk where he outlined the key difference among the aristocrat, the proletariat and the bourgeoisie.
If you’re not familiar with these terms, the aristocrat is someone who was born into nobility, like a king or queen. The proletariat is the working-class person. The bourgeoisie is the middle-class person. (I don’t believe Watts was referring to the strict Marxist definitions of proletariat or bourgeoisie.)
Watts saw that the aristocrat lived in the past. He looks at everything his ancestors did and revels in his lineage and what his bloodline has afforded him. …
I have a friend named Stacy that everyone loves. She’s friendly, charitable and funny. But as much as people like those things about her, they also have the same complaint: She sits on her talents like a bird trying to give warmth to untapped potential.
It’s frustrating to see her use her talents for the betterment of her family, friends and even strangers. But when it comes to her own goals and desires, her talent is replaced by doubt.
Stacy and I had a friend named Dom who, if we’re being honest, we don’t like that much because he makes…
I want you to understand something. You live in a world with others whom you depend on and who depend on you.
You want to be able to trust that your mechanic isn’t ripping you off, that your teachers know what they’re talking about and that politicians are going to represent you when the time comes to write bills and laws.
We are interdependent. We are dependent on one another.
But many of us grew up without being able to depend on our caregivers or parents. As a result, we had to cope with not having certain things. …
I am not someone who sees the inherent value in sex and romance as most others do.
Sex is the greatest physical ecstasy one could have but that simply means it’s all downhill from there. Not to say that you must now suffer. It’s just the pinnacle of sensation so where else is there to go?
It’s hard for me to feel motivated for pursue something that is a temporary high. I’m the type of person who would pursue it because of societal expectation.
With romantic relationships it’s somewhat similar. There’s an expectation to be in a relationship but over…
Former Edu. Psychologist | Current Writer | Constant Learner | “By your stumbling the world is perfected.”