Whether you were abused as a child yourself or you suspect someone was abused growing up, it is useful to know the common traits of people who suffered abuse growing up.
If you see yourself, it boosts your self-awareness. If you see others, you’ll be able to be more sensitive towards them, allowing them to feel more seen.
Also, understand that people who were abused as kids are akin to the baby elephant tied down to the ground by a stake. When the baby grows up, they could easily lift the stake out of the ground by merely lifting their…
When people experience pain in their lives, that pain must be expressed in one way or another. There are two ways that pain is expressed. Either the pain will be inflicted onto others or the pain will be inflicted on oneself.
But let me be clear. No one inflicts pain onto others one hundred percent of the time and no one inflicts pain onto themselves one hundred percent of the time. Like many other things in life, this is on a spectrum.
Some people inflict pain onto others the majority of the time but will still have some darts to…
Whenever we see someone we care about making a mistake, sometimes we are afraid to say something because we don’t want to hurt their feelings and we don’t want to risk the chance that they end the relationship.
When the crap eventually hits the fan, our friend, partner or family member may say, “Why didn’t you say something?” But they aren’t going to drop you if you speak your mind because they actually care about you and what you have to say.
They know that your words come from a place of sincere concern for their wellbeing. And while they…
I attended an Ayahuasca ceremony in 2015 with the sole intention to hear whatever Mother Ayahuasca had to share with me.
The previous year was the roughest of my life and although I found my footing near the end, it was clear I had much to learn and much to heal from.
The brew tasted “digital,” as if I had coated my tongue, mouth and throat in gigabytes. I was also given an Amazonian tobacco known as rapé which was administered by the shaman blowing the powder into my nose.
About an hour into the experience, I remembered a photograph…
There’s a difference between accepting people for who they are and allowing them to treat you and others like crap.
If you see someone drop poison in your water, are you going to admit that this person has murderous intent and leave for your safety? Or are you going to drink the water, knowing that you’re going to die all because you’re an “accepting” and “nice” person?
Nice may just lead you to being abused, used or killed.
It’s unfortunate that being nice seems to mean being permissive and non-confrontational. The nice person doesn’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable…
Imagine if we came into the world knowing everything we needed to do, everyone we needed to know, all the things we needed to ignore and every step to take. Does that sound like a life that we’d want to live?
It would be like a video game where you know exactly what every enemy would do and the exact moment they’d do it. You would know exactly where to go to complete any quest. You could beat the game in no time at all because you have the cheat codes.
And when you think about it, it’s pretty ironic…
After a particularly steamy but star-crossed romance, my friends told me something that I wouldn’t agree with until years later: you like complicated women.
At the time, I couldn’t disagree more. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand the women that I liked. But they didn’t explain exactly what they meant and I completely missed the point of what they were really trying to say.
What they meant was that I liked complicated relationships. The girls could be simple or complex, that didn’t matter. What mattered was the relationship, demonstrated.
And when I made that realization, I had to confess that…
“To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time.” ― Leonard Bernstein
Most of the times I do work, I do it with too much gusto. I furrow my brow, clench my jaw, intensely focus on the task and fry my neurons in the process.
If anyone were to pass by my door, they’d say, “Wow, he’s doing some serious work!” Of course, no one ever says that. They’re too busy being busy themselves.
I genuinely cannot think of any job I’ve had where I didn’t work quickly and intensely. From the time I…
I remember the first time I read the quote. I was reading Friendship with God and I’d like to mention the context in which Neale Donald Walsch wrote perhaps his most famous line.
Walsch recounted his time working his second newspaper job and that by taking on more responsibilities, he was able to find out how competent he was at various things.
“I’d received a liberal education at the first paper, but I learned even more at the second. A much smaller publication, with a tiny staff, it required hands-on preparation each week. …
I think the first time I ever heard the name “Marilyn Manson” was after the Columbine massacre. In the face of an unprecedented evil, the media attached his face. To my preteen mind, I agreed. “Yeah, he looks evil so that must mean he contributed to this evil act.”
As time would prove, you can’t always judge a book by its cover. Not always.
In time, I would learn more about this lucid, measured yet freaky-looking dude. When attacked by the conservative media, he was so composed, leaving his critics frazzled to find something incriminating to prove their point.
Former Edu. Psychologist | Current Writer | Constant Learner | “By your stumbling the world is perfected.”