Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Stefan Spassov on Unsplash

“Like the warming of a room or the coming of daylight. When you first notice them they have already been going on for some time.” — C.S. Lewis

Everyone knows what good treatment is. It’s when you don’t have to question if you’re being treated well. It’s when you don’t have to question your partner’s conduct.

It’s noting that while the relationship isn’t perfect because no relationship is perfect, that excuse isn’t your first line of defense against those who have questions about the health of your partnership.

If you’re reading this, perhaps you’re in a relationship with someone who you suspect isn’t treating you the way you think you should be treated. …


Image for post
Image for post
Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

In an attempt to foil the Nazis, Dutch railway workers went on strike to halt Nazi troops from advancing through Europe.

Unfortunately, this plan backfired massively as the Nazis blocked food supplies from entering the Netherlands, resulting in the Dutch Hongerwinter (Hunger Winter) that lasted from September 1944 to March 1945.

As one would expect, many people died due to this atrocity but there were also soon-to-be mothers amongst the hungry. And as it turned out, the trauma the mothers suffered impacted the children they carried inside them.

A study was published by Dr. L.H. Lumey et al. (2014) where they compared the children born to mothers who suffered during the Dutch Hunger Winter and children who were born before and after the famine. …


Image for post
Image for post
Photo by CDC on Unsplash

I don’t consider myself a pessimistic person but the pandemic and how some of us have handled it has illustrated why we as humans have found ourselves in this predicament in the first place and why I questioned our ability to get ourselves out of it.

Someone dropped the ball in Wuhan. The Chinese government hid information from the World Health Organization. Other governments did not take the virus seriously or seriously enough.

People stockpiled resources in order to sell them at a profit. Others ignored safety protocol. Still others called it a hoax and continue to do so.

When news broke about vaccines that were 90–95% effective, I was pleasantly surprised but I questioned if trials would be done comprehensively enough to actually save lives instead of issuing a quick fix. …


How wedding vows distort the essence of love.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash

“One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.” — Oscar Wilde

I wrote a post last year listing the ruminations of marriage by former luminaries. I also outlined my own thoughts about how serving another person is a privilege and honor.

I didn’t know exactly how to find the right person to serve but I argued that if you found someone you would want to serve for the rest of your life, that’s probably a good barometer to know who you can handle.

However, the famous people I quoted were far more cynical. From Coco Chanel to Oscar Wilde, they weren’t very keen on the institution of marriage. …


Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Felix Rostig on Unsplash

One can only know oneself through contrast. The traits you label people with are due to your experience with a bunch of different people.

That’s why you can look at a person and say they’re mean and your friend would look at the same person but not consider them mean. Your friend is used to people who were considerably meaner than the people you’ve encountered.

Now, while it is true that you are greater than any label anybody attempts to define you by, for the sake of this article, let’s say that these labels “define” you. …


The flaws in a quote attributed to Marilyn Monroe.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Michèle Eckert on Unsplash

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

― Marilyn Monroe

There’s no record to show that Marilyn Monroe ever said this, but it’s attributed to her. It’s a quote that people don’t know in full and a quote that people seem to really like for some reason.

To be fair, you’re free to like it. If it resonates with you, then you should cherish it. …


Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Austin Neill on Unsplash

Hi, hope the week’s been going well.

I’ve written a lot about love and relationships over the years. But if you’re interested in the most distilled summation of everything I’ve written, it’s this.

The folks over at Hello, Love decided to publish it. Please check out their publication because it has some great stuff on this topic.

I’ve also done a video on the age old question, “What is Love?” where I list how historical figures and luminaries have defined the phenomenon.

Also, can you believe there’s only six weeks left in the year? Feels like this year’s been three years in one.

Anyways, have a good day!

Jason


Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash

I’ve been having recurring nightmares for the past four weeks with the same theme. It involved me and a woman I dated a few years ago.

We had chemistry and history (and a few other subjects) but I suggested that we see other people. I had a feeling that as much as we liked each other, we weren’t as good of a match as we probably should be.

Later that year we met up and had a chat. Turns out she did find someone else and he proved me right. He was a better fit for her than I was. …


Through the lens of fear or the lens of love. It’s up to you to choose.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Soroush Karimi on Unsplash

People have a difficulty with relationships primarily because they are afraid of getting hurt.

They are afraid of being a simp. They are afraid of being taken for a ride or taken for granted. They are afraid the other person’s feelings will change. They are afraid that their own feelings to their significant other will change. They are afraid of change.

They are afraid of breaking up. They are afraid of abandonment. They are afraid of their blind spot, ignoring red flags and making a mistake. They are afraid of introducing children into the equation if things go belly up. …


Image for post
Image for post
Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

When I got into the world of self-help and self-improvement, I knew I had to look out for charlatans and snake oil salespeople.

There were some things I believed in that helped (at least to some extent), some things I rejected that ultimately proved useful and some things that were just flat out wrong but I bought into it.

The most useless tip on personal growth I ever received was not from a book, course, seminar or video.

This advice was obtained through conversation and at first it appeared to be wise and kind.

I spoke with a friend about relationships, not just romantic ones but of all kinds. We eventually touched on the topic of what to do when someone hurts you and he said, “I just try to see the best in people.” …

About

Jason Henry

Former Edu. Psychologist | Current Writer | Constant Learner | “By your stumbling the world is perfected.”

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store