Member-only story
6 Examples of Trauma Bonding
When an abuser programs someone to fall for them by showering them with love and then withholds that love in order to get whatever they want from the other person, there we have a trauma bond.
The abused person wants the relationship to work because the positives were quite good but also because they want to get rid of being seen and treated negatively. They want to return to the good old days.
The abused person may have already been used to tumultuous or drama-filled relationships. So when the abuser pulls the rug from underneath them and begins to act mean, they can’t do what “normal” people would and sever the tie.
Here are six things they’ll do instead:
1. Make excuses
Firstly, they will make excuses to themselves in order to explain why they are staying with an abusive person and then they will make excuses to everybody else.
Once everybody sees the physical, emotional or psychological abuse, they’re going to say or at least think something. Why? Because it is something. Everyone knows what good treatment looks like, so to see anything other than that is going to raise eyebrows and concerns.
If you or someone you care about is making excuses for a partner’s behavior, please understand that one wouldn’t have to make up excuses…
