Well, we’re one day in and I’ve already experienced several moments where I had to speak my truth, else be taken on a wild goose chase at best or to be disposed to someone else’s desires which don’t line up with my own.
Didn’t think it would start so soon though, but we might as well get it over with.
Given that I and so many people I know have had to let go of toxic relationships last year, it’s only fitting that this year would be about enforcing our boundaries and dropping the co-dependent crap that doesn’t serve us in any way other than to assuage the fear of being alone.
But it’s important to recap how we got ourselves into these messes, so here’s the outline: At some point in life we feared being ostracized, whether by our family, peers or society. It’s a primal fear to be abandoned. Millennia ago, if you were found to be upsetting the status quo, they’d kill you or they’d just abandon you, leaving you exposed to the elements.
So naturally, we’re incentivised to fit in and to want to fit in. Unfortunately, one can only do that for so long and no more. If you aren’t living your truth and in accordance to your values and moving in the direction of what you desire, you get screwed over for two reasons.
1. You get taken advantage of. You will hate these people but the truth is, you abdicated your power to choose what experience you wanted. This applies to your job, platonic or romantic relationships and your choices on how you express yourself.
2. There will be an unease that chances are has been there for years, but you won’t know it until you start living more authentically. However, it’s an unease you’re subconsciously trying to get rid of. You know something’s off, but you don’t know what. The truth is, the unease is you not being you.
The various aspects of society will hold you down, whether it be media, peers, family or even strangers. Conformity is good, non-threatening and safe — for them and for you.
What 2019 will require is that you be mindful of how people feel about certain things but that you respectfully show your true colours. You might be afraid to do so. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But that doesn’t matter because if you continue to not express yourself, you will hurt people’s feelings when you lambast them in anger like a pot boiling over.
Some of us might go too far in expressing ourselves and disrespect other people expressing their values. Some of us might be too respectful for others’ sensitivities. That’s okay. We’re learning how to deal with this. Mistakes will be a welcome part of the process.
And with that said, I wish you the best for 2019 — the real you, not the fabricated persona you used so that people don’t feel threatened by your unique expression and greatness.